Sugah Mama

Boy’s Sugah Mama

I haven’t talked much about Boy’s mother.  She is the best mother I ever knew.  Maybe it’s because she’s a smart and funny and kind-to-the-bone woman.  She wanted Boy badly.  She was thirty-six years old when he was born.  She spent the last two months before he was born lying on the sofa.  It was a difficult time, but she was determined to have that Boy.  It isn’t just that she loves him.  She has a sixth sense about him that fascinates me.  She knows him in a way that I don’t believe most mothers know their children.

If you ask Boy about his mother, he will tell you, with a certainty in his voice that is remarkable, “She takes care of me”.  She knows how to do everything.  She makes sure he has all of the right stuff that he needs.  She knows what he likes and does fun things with him.  She likes his friends and takes care of them too.  Two of his friends are twin girls who live down the street.   One of the girls is a tomboy who likes to play the games that Charlie plays.  The other one is a girly girl.  She cooks and shops and has fun with Boy’s mother.  He says they like each other because they’re so much alike.  He doesn’t mind that Mom hugs Cassidy too.   He is loving and generous like his mom.

Boy’s mother doesn’t have lots of rules that could be written down.  She requires Boy to be clean and neat and civilized.  She does not tolerate lying.  Boy found out the hard way.  She always warns him when he does something unacceptable.  The next time, he’s gonna’ get a “whack”.  Well, poor Boy lied to her about something of no significance, but it was the principle of the thing.  So, Mom decided to stop that practice … now.  That’s how Mom handles things.  Boy was in the bathroom getting dressed.  He had his underwear on.  Mom told him to “come here now!”  Poor Boy had to walk the ten steps to her, turn around, and get the hardest whack of his life on his bare butt.  Since that day, the benchmark for the worst punishment in the world is “Mom’s Whack”.  Boy shakes his head and says, with considerable reverence,  “It’s gonna’ be WHACK”.  Then he thinks better of whatever he was going to do.  Boy’s mama doesn’t expect him to be the best at anything he does.  She expects him to give life his best shot.   She allows him to succeed and to fail.  And, she hugs him either way.

Boy’s mom has been a lot of things.  She learned to ride a horse and to take care of it by herself at twelve years old.  When she was about sixteen, she rode that horse, Mabel, out of the flooded park where she was stabled.  She swam her across a flooded stream and all the way across town to our house where she kept her in the back yard until the waters receded.  We knew nothing about it.  She is a powerful swimmer and she became a certified scuba diving instructor.  She is fearless.  On a lark, she took the plunge off the tower in San Antonio hooked to a bungee cord.  She is a smart business woman and a BSN degreed surgical nurse.   She is a Registered Sanitarian who is licensed to design on-site wastewater systems.  She took care of her dad and she takes care of me.  Boy’s mother has done many things well, but being Boy’s mother is her crowning achievement.  She is simply the best mother I ever knew.

Happy Mother’s Day, Sugah Mama!

47 Comments on “Sugah Mama

  1. The beautiful thing about blogging, besides puns, photography, poetry, HPL & eyeballs, is all wonderful and amazing individual you have the opportunity to encounter. You and Lady Marilyn are two of them Your daughter is another. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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  2. I don’t think that I was a very good mother. I loved my children and still do. But I was so busy trying to make them independent, because I wasn’t, that I think that I did too good a job of it. They don’t need me at all now. I sometimes wonder whether they know how much I love them. My PTSD gets in the way of having a lot of noise and presence around me. And of course now, they’re on the other side of the world.

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    • Why on earth do you suffer PTSD? That is just awful, Lady D. That makes me unhappy for you.
      I was not a particularly good mother. I paid little attention. I provided what I thought was everything my daughter wanted or needed, but I guess I didn’t have as much time for her as I should have made. I adored her. She was a delight always.
      She grew up to be totally charming, kind and generous. She takes care of me now. I owe her a great deal, but there is no going back, is there?

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      • I manage it quite well, now. It was bad for a while. There was a build-up of a lot of stuff all through my life and the trigger was a double rape, both within six days of each other, by two different people. I didn’t really feel the effects until a few years later when I started having strange reactions to a few things. I understood that it was connected to the rapes but didn’t understand why. I just keep away from people as much as possible and try to stay calm. The slightest hint of aggressivity from anyone sends me scurrying back to my bed until I get over it. I don’t like noise either, and can’t stand anyone inside my home. I get on very well with people on the Internet, though! And now that I’ve started my “Hindsight” book, series of posts, thingy – don’t really know what it is yet – I might be able to trace how I arrived where I am. I had this problem of always trying to help people and in the process was robbed, beaten, raped and had my reputation wilfully destroyed, not to mention a whole lot of other unpleasant things. No good deed goes unpunished as they say. I am probably just over-sensitive.

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        • Where is your “Hindsight” book posted? Perhaps, I am simply missing it.

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          • At the moment, it’s only three posts on my blog. I have others in preparation. I think that you have read two of them. I’m still in the childhood part for the moment. Nothing very grim yet.

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            • Oh, I recall the wonderful post about the lady next door’s son who spit in your face. What an endearing child you were. And, smart too. I would have so enjoyed you as a child.

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            • Okay, get on with it. You remind me of a very sophisticated, talented woman whom I knew a long time ago. You even look like her. She was a journalist, a writer and a college professor. I will have to tell you about her some day. She shared your elegance too.

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              • Elegance? If you could only see me at the moment! I have been a press “correspndante” in France. Don’t know what the equivalent to that is in English. Stringer? It wasn’t well paid. I’ve had a couple of short stories published, and I’ve taught English in private schools with a lot of “troubled” pupils. So, there are some similarities. However, I left school at 15. I didn’t want to leave but had to go to work.

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                • Self-education is the best education. I always found that to be true of the people whom I have known. Degrees mean little. They only open the door to employment. The rest depends on the person.

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  3. George,

    How thoughtful, that you, on Mother’s Day, would take the time to tribute your own daughter and detail her love and devotion to Boy. Funny . . . without saying one word about yourself, I may have swapped around a couple names and I am quite sure this would all still be true. Good mamas don’t always come from good mamas; but sometimes they do.

    Also, I want to thank you for the pretty compliment the other day . . . I didn’t respond, but I’ve kept it with me since then. It’s strange how you don’t realize you need some kindness until someone bestows some upon you. Thank you, George, and Happy Mother’s Day.

    ~ Cara

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    • I always remember you from that first bus stop with TBA Michael. I was new here and didn’t know where I was going, but I wrote a little story in my head about the two kids on the bus. One of the first comments I read here was the description of Mollusk Girl that inspired the story. You never know what effect a casual comment will have on someone else. You have a special place in my old heart, Cara. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed my little tribute to my daughter.

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  4. The story fills in so many rich details, but those pictures tell us everything we need to know about how much that mother loves her boy. Exquisite.

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    • We do love our children. When I was younger and heard grandmothers talk about their children and grandchildren, I had no idea why they’d bore the population at large with such stuff. And the pictures they’d expect rank strangers to ooh and ah over. Now I know. I owe Grandmothers United a sheepish apology. 🙂

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    • Thanks. Something tells me from having read your blog that you are right up there among the best grannies. What a sense of optimism and strength of character your grandchildren are learning from you! Hey, and you’re fun too! 🙂

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  5. Beautiful and i just loved reading about Boy’s mama..she is just the mom a kid needs..loving and knowing when..
    And she so Gorgeous loved the images..Boys is a cutie pie and so lucky to have her as a mom
    Am glad you guys have each other..Hope you had a lovely day 🙂

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    • Thank you, Soma. I’m glad you enjoyed my little tribute. Kelli is a good mama. And she knows that she is lucky to have Boy. I am grateful to live next door to Boy and his mom and dad. They are good people, and they are good to me. Every grandmother should grow old in a family who shares with her. I am lucky indeed! 🙂

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    • Thanks, Naomi. Yes, every old grandmother should live next door to her family the way it used to be when the country was mostly rural. The greatest pleasure of my life now is in Boy and his parents. I wish equal joy for every grandmother in the world on Mother’s Day. 🙂

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      • We are fortunate enough to have my mother-in-law living right around the corner from us. She came out from Concord, MA when she retired–the kids were still small and she loved to babysit. Now she needs more help, and it is so easy to run around the corner with groceries,to give computer help, or to play a game of cards. A perfect arrangement!

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  6. I liked that a lot, George…you are right to be proud of your daughter, Boy’s mama. I wonder where she got at least half of all of her wonderfulness. 🙂

    Happy Mother’s Day to you and Boy’s mama.

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    • Thanks,Scott. I expected Kelli to do her life’s work well. That is not extraordinary. What fascinates me is how she instinctively understands Charlie. I guess that’s the joy of being a grandparent! We get to do it over again through our children. 🙂

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      • You’re very welcome…and it is nice to be able to do it again with our little ones’ little ones. 🙂

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        • Hey, I forgot to tell you. Some time ago, you posted a picture of you and your daughter and grandchildren. I downloaded it and played with it. I finally decided on a black and white version that I liked. I don’t have a clue why the photo interested me, but it did. I have to send it to you if I have your email address and if I don’t forget again! It’s the Mad Cow, you know. 🙂

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          • What a wonderful idea…I will look forward to checking it out…I think you’ll find my email address on the comments part of your dashboard. Thank you, George. 🙂

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  7. Beautiful Mother’s Day post from mother to daughter. It’s interesting to see the family resemblance through the generations. I have a good friend whose grandchildren look as much like her as they do her daughter!

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    • Glad you enjoyed my little tribute. I can see both mom and dad in Charlie’s face. It is interesting. I don’t look like my sister, but people think so because of that familial resemblance you mentioned. It is interesting how we pass on traits from one generation to the other.

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  8. I was missing your posts very much, and I’m really glad you are back.
    A great post for mothers day, George.
    Happy mothers day to you.

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    • Pablo, I haven’t been anywhere. 🙂 My computer’s memory is all used up so it takes me forever to load a page. No extra memory slots so I am waiting for a new one. Thank you for the Mother’s Day wish. It was a nice day!

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    • Thank you, Daisy. Sugah Mama and Boy are something else. 🙂

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    • Thanks, Rosy. Sugah Bear knows that Sugah Mama is in charge! They are something else to watch. Both funny snuggle bunnies.

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  9. What a great Mother’s Day tribute to Kelli. She’s also the best niece in the whole world!!!

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    • You and Kelli are so much alike. Good traveling buddies, too! 🙂

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    • Yes, Sugah Mama knows she got lucky. Sugah Bear is a lucky little guy too. Thanks for the wishes.

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  10. That was beautiful, George. Thank you for sharing…(I’m very lucky, too – I have one of the best Moms in the world) and Boy is a cutie! He has his mother’s eyes.

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    • I’m glad you got yourself a good mama. I had one too. Everybody ought to have one of those. They come in mighty handy! Happy Mother’s Day to the funniest, most dedicated mama in the Hood. 😉

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